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Happy Birthday Morgan

Today is my son’s 22nd Birthday. I saw him Saturday and sang him HappyBirthday. Pray for him to keep depression away.Pray for me to make it thru this day without bawling my eyes out here at work. Thanks.
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Frustrated - Please FEED my son!

So almost 2 weeks before his sentencing they move my son back to Comal County. They don't feed him well there and he was just starting to put some weight back on up in Burnet.  He always looks so horrible when I go visit him in Comal! I JUST HATE THIS.  I wish they would at least feed them properly in there.  Many are in there "innocent" until PROVEN guilty and they are still treated as criminals.

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i want to thank all you Moms on here for your love and kind words of encouragement my son was taken out of Solitary a few days ago Thank God! his trial is April 30th...He is hanging on to God...and seeking him...Thank God for that too...! now its on my end to trust him as well...I new the victims and the there families...which makes it even harder to deal with I have a lot of enemies....who wish me and my family harm because of there loss which is tremendous...but i cannot focus on that...my sole focus is on my Son unfortunate he did commit these crimes but during a Pyshcosis episode becuz of being on multiple drugs at once for a long period....He did not gireve his Dad's death none of us did....we all need healing and hope:) what the devil meant for bad God will turn around for GOOD!!I have to believe this...thanks again everyone much appreciation...

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Please Help

Hello. This is my first time writing anything on this page. I'm more than destroyed. I seek God everyday and that's why I breeze one breathe at time and I feel every breathe. It's that hard to breathe.I three adult boys. One is strong with God. My oldest is currently facing charges that could be 25 years and is in another state. I've taken my retirement to help him. When the crime took place...I got evidence of what happened and it's now with his attorney's who also believe he didn't do it.I just found out my youngest son is being accused of some serious allegations that I know that's not my son. I know as a mom we all want to believe our kids are innocent but truly... I believe him cause I know his personality. He's scared and so am I. He could face up to 20 years in a different state in which I live in too.I need help. Does anyone know how to go about a pro bono attorney. Public defenders scare me.My husband can't work cause of surgeries and I am the only one working at Walmart. Hoping my job doesn't get cut in the next few months as Walmart is changing all around this country.I have no finances to help him now. Can someone guide me.Also can everyone please put my son's on your prayer list. Only God can handle this...cause I'm too week to do it but my kids won't see my weakness.PS... I have no clue how mother's of incarcerated son's or children's do this!! My heart breaks for my son's and yet many of you have been doing this or gone through it far longer than me. My deepest strongest prayers go to your children and to the parents who stand by there children.I Can't Breathe!!Sandra
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taking his calls

some days, taking his calls are just too emotional.  I have to remember where we are in life. I have to remember what my son is facing each day.  I have to remember how his and our lives got out of control.  some days are just hard!

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Can't Thank M.I.S.S. enough!

I know i don't share often enough but today is a little different.... and it is to Thank All of you parents who take the time to facilitate card programs and for all of you to take the time to write my Son (he can't receive cards only letters on white paper) handwritten letters. He just spent his 3rd month in the shu with no privileges at all not to mention he was sentenced to 30 years in a federal unit the day he turned 21, and has not a visit since then 2013(EVER). And this is because they have him in Virginia and we are just poor people from Texas, living check to check which rarely would allow for a 15 hour road trip to visit him. I said all that to say this Grant has figured out a way to get moved to Texas, but it requires several months in the shu as he awaits transfer to a SMU in Pennsylvania where he will spend 9 months before being moved to Beaumont........yes Texas!!!! The shu seems to be a place where anything goes and the guards really push that to the limit......but Grant has been alone for the last few weeks as his celly was released(yes he had a celly in that tiny cell) he receives letters on a semi constant basis from me and well, ME! I got a letter from him today asking me to Thank All of You parents as he received a letter everyday this week from you guys and he said that made it bearable because it helped him to realize even though they came and took EVERYTHING from Him his stamps, his paper, even his pencil and book but I can't say EVERYTHING because they left his Bible.......and He said that and a letter everyday of the week from you guys is how he did not break/////// So Thank You all from Grant and I!!!!! When he smiles I give myself permission to smile as well. I could never Thank you all enough!!!! 

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A year n a half of 110.

It's less than a year and half but already seems like forever. I haven't seen my son since his sentsenting. I'm going to give a little back story.

Hi, my name is teri. I am 48yrs old. I have had 6 children. My kids weren't always with me. I'm 12 years clean n sober. My oldest son is 31 and was convicted of deliberate homicide. His sentenceing was Jan 17th 2017. He is not eligible for parole for 45 years. I am disabled. My son took care of me. Now it has fallen onto my youngest, she  is only 20. I have tried several times to go visit him. Life gets in my way. I ended up homeless when he was arrested. I was living in my truck for about 7 months. Till my daughter asked me to move to billings to live with her. This Thursday my daughter is taking me to see him. I don't know if I can handle this. I skippsk alot of visiting while he was in county because it caused me so much stress It made me sick. How do I face him? I love him so very much. I don't see the man they portrayed in court. Dang its hard to text while crying. I see my little boy. And he's hurting. I have to stop for now. I'm crying to much. I write more soon. 

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Day 9

Max is gone. They took him from county on Monday. We havent heard from him since sunday. It is tearing us apart! I check MDOC every hour to see if they have uploaded any information and his picture, so I can see that he is ok. Ive put money in his account so he can call when he gets too. I put extra money so that if he can get snacks, he has the money to do it. And now we just wait... and wait... My daughter is a Junior in highschool. Has never gotten a B in her life. Got her first B. She is devasted. She misses her brother so much. Her other 3 brothers are not around (college, lives out of state) so it's just her and us. And we are falling apart ourselves, right in front of her. I wish I was stronger so that I could make all her fears go away, but Im not. And Im not sure when I will be... Our entire family is one big emotional mess. I pray everynight that this will be easier when I wake up and I will make it through at least work without breaking down. Not even close yet... :(

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Checking i

Hi moms. Hope this finds everyone healthy. It has been a rough few months for me. Now if I can stay somewhat healthy longer than a week or two, I can get back in the mix of writing notes and cards and checking in on all of you. This past Sunday Michael celebrated 731 days of total sobriety, along with being home now 8 1/2 months. He celebrated all day with friends and mtgs. Got over 150 comments of support and encouragement on FB, presented me with his 2 yr coin, and I gave him a note and a jar of coins, that I started collecting daily while he was incarcerated. Told him whatever was there was his. He is doing great, continues to give back to others and goes to mtgs daily. We have a great repor with his PO now. She just comes to house, which saves him a trip to PO office. Sometimes it’s a urine ck, most times just to talk. 

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Visit

I went to visit my son today. I was not happy with what he had to say. My son has been in prison for almost 4 years. He is 25 years old and has been in counseling since he was 9. None of the counselors helped him and never found out his terrible secret. We finally found out when he went to jail. He was sexually assaulted when he was a child by an older almost adult person. Dillon never said a word. He was just always angry. Well Dillon told us after he was arrested that he is a transgender person and has always wanted to be a girl. I didn't take it to seriously because I thought it was just for attention. He went to all the trouble of changing his name to Riley Nicole and it is her legal name now. I have a hard time calling him a her and using Riley as his name.

 So today at our visit he tells us that he was taken to the hospital on January 10th by squad because he tried to cut his penis off. He said that his depression finally took over. He was bleeding out and almost died. I am his emergency contact at the prison and the hospital but no one notified us. How is it that I am just hearing about this now?? He said he told the people in medical at the prison to call me. They never did. He is on phone restriction right now because he quit his job there. So he never got to call and talk to us. I can usually talk some sense into him. What do they think is an emergency there? I think a person bleeding to death is considered an emergency. Am I crazy or is the mom in me?

 I guess I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. He talks about killing himself sometimes. I hate when he does that. He knows how I feel about it. I was a young mom when I had my daughter. She was killed in a car accident along with her father a long time ago. It was one of the worse times of my life. I always told Riley that I would never want to go thru that kind of pain again. Today I swallowed my heart. He or she says Mom I'm ok.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Barb

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Comments: 6

Day 4

Driving is the worst for me. That is when my mind goes to everything we could have, should have done. What we didnt see (drug addiction), why didnt we see it... All the "what if's", Why didnt we", ect...  Then the tears start rolling and its hard to breathe. Im still in shock. THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. 

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Need information please

Hello,So i received a call from PLSNY they were very nice and helpful regarding the incidents of my son being denied his medication although not sure how far he probably will want to take it because if the facility finds out i fear these crooked COs will retaliate against him but at least im getting the information out there and then he can decide what he wants to do from there i also spoke with his counselor again today maybe if they know how much support and advocacy he has out here they will leave him alone and just let him do his time in peace i pray. I also had a ? If their are other mothers with sons at Great meadows or what they call a (tv facility) im very confused on their rules i found out i can only send food items 2-20 pd pks for the year but he would have to order a tv, hotpot, toiletries himself. Does anyone know how this works since i send money orders but until all his court fees are paid they take half of even $20 dollars sorry for the lengthy email ladies im just confused among stressed etc.Thank you........
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Medical Care in prisons

Does anyone know how to go about obtaining Medical tests when your son is in prison? My son has low calcium levels chronic conditions & I have spoke with staff & Director of nurses & they say they will see but nothing ever changes . Low calcium levels are very serious & can lead to heart attack. Are there any agencies that may help? I feel the agency in charge of medical care at IDOC just does not want to spend the money for testing.
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Sad....

I am so sad 4 us all sometimes i think why we are dealt the cards is it going to get any easier my son has has 13 years no parole no good time he was a juvenile charged as a adult he was so young when he went in we still have a long road I say we because I feel I'm doing the time with him sleepless nights constantly worried the depression afraid to leave home in fear of missing that phone call u may or may not get having a child locked up is tortur heartbreaking so many messed up feelings I try hard to stay positive but it is hard when u think when a child is a juvenile and goes in and won't see the world again till he is in his 30s what will he do he never lived alone never grocery shopped for himself never never had a steady job didn't own a car how will he function you will be surprised to know he was a first time offender he had never been in trouble b4 this we did not have funds to get a lawyer so I'm told this is why it went so wrong just had to vent tonight thank you all 4 being a support system only people going through the same thing can truly understand this madness
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Visiting Issues

Does anyone have suggestions for submitting an appeal for my son's daughter to be allowed to visit him.  She aws initially approved only to be told after she had visited 6 or 7 times that she had been approved by mistake.  This is ridiculous however part of his sentence was a no contact with minors clause - I wrote a letter to the DOC and received a response stating basically "Sorry - we are not changing our mind"  She is 9 years old and if this stands she will not be able to visit until the age of 18 - by then the connection with her Daddy will be lost as much as we can say phone calls and video visits will help it is not the same.  She is absolutely heartbroken and so is my son.  She and I (his Mom) are the only two visitors he has and to take that away is cruel in my opinion.  I will engage the legal help I can get through my Employee Assistance program at work but am not feeling very hopeful - in fact it is very very sad!!

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Comments: 4

Worried....

Does anyone else have a son incarcerated at Great Meadows in Comstock,NY? My son has been moved so many times since he left for his time in October and the one Facility Washington Correctional he wrote me a letter about the abuse from COs in details i have since reached out to Prisoners Legal Services of NY. I just don t like the fact i havent received any phone calls from him. I was able to speak with someone at Great Meadows she confirmed he was there and had his own cell but i just wanna hear his voice. I did send him a Christmas card and letter also a package.
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Very good visit

I took my grandson to see his daddy David Saturday. We had an awesome visit. His son is also named David but goes Davey. He is 4 and half, my son had lost his visits over contraband cigs or whatever I dont really ask anymore. In the past the question of contact visits were an issue. The two guards in the visiting room were awesome. One of them did ask my son to talk to him but reassured him it was no big deal. Just reminded him that he couldnt physically pick him up or carry him. Which we worked around well. They have a play area with tons of legos and they played together for 3 hours . Building and laughing lots of snacks and oh boy chocolate candy!! It was really a great time got christmas pictures taken. I met a mother who was there for the first time to see her son and she hadnt hugged her son in a year. I usually cry afterwards when I get home alone. But this year seemed more emotional for me this is going to be his 4th xmas away. I miss more today than ever. I have cried all morning, took my grandson home yesterday. Trying to keep busy to not think about it and to remember to be grateful for an awesome visit. Praying for all you moms and dads and sons and daughters .

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